IT Professionals Should Know These Expansions

MICROSOFT -- Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers

WINDOWS -- Will Install Needless Data On Whole System

PENTIUM -- Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics 

IBM -- I Blame Microsoft

DOS -- Defective Operating System

BASIC -- Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control

PCMCIA -- People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms 

BILL GATES --Became Insanely Lucrative Lunatic, Gains Assloads of Tokens Exporting Shitware.

Microsoft Versus General Motors

Bill Gates wanted to look good and impress everyone with his success. He decided to measure the accomplishments of Microsoft against General Motors

The comparison went like this:

If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades, you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. (16,000km/hr)

Or you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds (14 kilos) and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50.

In response to all this goading, GM responds: "Yes, but would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"