Bill Gates and Hell

Bill Gates passed away and found himself in the ante-room between Heaven and Hell. The admitting Angel was surprised to see him and said there was some sort of mix-up in his file. After unsuccessfully trying to solve the mix-up, the Angel told Bill Gates that they would allow him to make his own choice as to whether he went to Heaven or Hell.

Gates was then seated in front of two computers: one labeled "Heaven" and one labeled "Hell."

The "Heaven" monitor showed streets paved in gold with many smiling people gathered in clusters singing beautiful hymns. Lovely harp music filled the air and the sky was filled with soft, puffy white clouds.

The "Hell" monitor showed a white sand beach with a sparkling blue ocean gently lapping on the shore. There were many beautiful young women in tiny bikini's strolling the beach, lying in the sand and playing volleyball and having a lot of fun.

Gates looked at both scenes for awhile and then thought to himself, "Hell really does look pretty great." He told the Angel he chose to go to Hell, and he was immediately sent down.

Quite awhile later, the admitting Angel was making his customary rounds of Heaven and Hell, checking on the daily routines. He saw Bill Gates and went over to speak to him. Gates was chained to a wall. He was dirty and thin. His body was covered in festering sores and he was groaning in great pain. The Angel said, "You know, I could not understand why you chose Hell when you could have gone to Heaven. You, of course, are suffering the consequences of Hell."

Gates looked at the Angel with tormented eyes and said, "Where are the beautiful girls? Where is the white sand beach and the sparkling blue ocean? Where is all the fun?"

The Angel said, "Oh, that. Well, you were looking at the MicroHell Screen Saver..."